yay for stacy because she's going to the east coast--NEW YORK!! I'm crazy jealous :) Have fun good kid!!!
I'm currently working on our "time capsule" activity..hee..this is gonna be awesome!!
Saturday, May 24, 2003
Friday, May 23, 2003
I really wish I had something to say. Hmm...maybe now I'll just talk about a whole bunch of nothing.
OH wAIT. Today I found out from Mr. Harris that he's trying to get me an internship over the summer because I told him about me wanting to major in film studies. I'm kinda excited but more terrified. It's not even a big thing, but I feel terrible about Mr. Harris going to such great lengths for me especially when I really have nothing to offer. And he was saying how he had this opportunity for 8 freaking months, but hasn't recommend anyone until now. That's like pretty crappy because I honestly suck. I have no artistic experience or skill or talent or anything...the extent of my ability is making signs. But like, there are so many way talented people taking art and I feel bad because mr. harris is wasting this opportunity on me. I guess I just feel like there's this insane pressure to prove myself now...like because I know that this internship opportunity should never have gone to me, I have to earn it. I have to prove that people aren't just wasting their time and effort on me. And I just really really don't want to be a disappointment. And I'm sort of really scared. Um, there's a huge difference between dreaming about doing something....and actually taking steps towards achieving it. This is real? and not just in my head anymore. So I'm pretty terrified. Arg, I shouldn't say anything because nothing is set yet, and most likely it wont turn out and, as usual, I'm turning it into something way bigger than it is. I mean, it's not like I'm really going to be doing anything except play "gofer," but that's my news.
OH wAIT. Today I found out from Mr. Harris that he's trying to get me an internship over the summer because I told him about me wanting to major in film studies. I'm kinda excited but more terrified. It's not even a big thing, but I feel terrible about Mr. Harris going to such great lengths for me especially when I really have nothing to offer. And he was saying how he had this opportunity for 8 freaking months, but hasn't recommend anyone until now. That's like pretty crappy because I honestly suck. I have no artistic experience or skill or talent or anything...the extent of my ability is making signs. But like, there are so many way talented people taking art and I feel bad because mr. harris is wasting this opportunity on me. I guess I just feel like there's this insane pressure to prove myself now...like because I know that this internship opportunity should never have gone to me, I have to earn it. I have to prove that people aren't just wasting their time and effort on me. And I just really really don't want to be a disappointment. And I'm sort of really scared. Um, there's a huge difference between dreaming about doing something....and actually taking steps towards achieving it. This is real? and not just in my head anymore. So I'm pretty terrified. Arg, I shouldn't say anything because nothing is set yet, and most likely it wont turn out and, as usual, I'm turning it into something way bigger than it is. I mean, it's not like I'm really going to be doing anything except play "gofer," but that's my news.
yesterday I went to the dance concert and stacy was so cool!! At the end, when everyone came out at the end...stacy was in the front line!! woohaw!! I felt really proud of her, because she does everything and is really talented. Stacy I ADMIRE YOU!! The weirdest thing happened when I watched the stacy b., zorina and ria dance and their slideshow thingy. Oh because it hit me that at the end of the summer, we are all really going to split up and go our separate ways. It really has been 4 years... amazing huh?
Joanna that was an amazing thing to read. You are so wise and it was just beautiful how you captured the ocean and all its feeling it can inspire in a person. Sonya says she does her homework because she wants her teacher to like her. Anyway, sonya that was a nice post too... very real, I want to read your semi-autobiographical novel when its done.
I decided that I'm going to really really attempt to play my guitar...and maybe learn to surf? perhaps. Oh, and get a job.
Joanna that was an amazing thing to read. You are so wise and it was just beautiful how you captured the ocean and all its feeling it can inspire in a person. Sonya says she does her homework because she wants her teacher to like her. Anyway, sonya that was a nice post too... very real, I want to read your semi-autobiographical novel when its done.
I decided that I'm going to really really attempt to play my guitar...and maybe learn to surf? perhaps. Oh, and get a job.
Thursday, May 22, 2003
men are always sincere, they just sometimes change sincerity.
currently checked out under my library card:
- cezanne, non fiction
- chasing cezanne, fiction
- bio of kurt cobain, non fiction
- bio of dr. seuss, non fiction
- the majestic, dvd
i REALLY deeply hate the word 'fag'. i just wanted to say that if i hear you say it i will probably hate you. and i also dislike the phrases "that's gay" and "you're gay". i think all of those words are hateful, especially the first and i think that if you say it you are an ignorant bigot. the end.
"she really did like the beach. she was an observor and the beach is an observor's blanket just as is a new york city cafe or a velvet invisibility cloak. she watched and tried not to criticize and judge but judged and criticized anyway. sometimes the water was so real and if it was not just blue, but purple or green, she wouldn't even criticize. one day she climbed the ladder to a place where only she could sit. and there she was alone but not lonely because at the beach she was never really alone.
... a n d as she poured out her thoughts through the neutral black ink (because it wasn't red), she hoped for something more because this couldn't be all. she scratched into her skin and tried to rip it off but couldn't because there was nothing under. she wanted to discover something new or maybe someone new. she refused to accept the present because life is more than sorting books, six hours of class, and a handful of crumbled relationships. she wanted a new life or maybe to sleep the present one away. but since neither was possible, she just pretended she was okay just as she had the past 17 years."
im tired
currently checked out under my library card:
- cezanne, non fiction
- chasing cezanne, fiction
- bio of kurt cobain, non fiction
- bio of dr. seuss, non fiction
- the majestic, dvd
i REALLY deeply hate the word 'fag'. i just wanted to say that if i hear you say it i will probably hate you. and i also dislike the phrases "that's gay" and "you're gay". i think all of those words are hateful, especially the first and i think that if you say it you are an ignorant bigot. the end.
"she really did like the beach. she was an observor and the beach is an observor's blanket just as is a new york city cafe or a velvet invisibility cloak. she watched and tried not to criticize and judge but judged and criticized anyway. sometimes the water was so real and if it was not just blue, but purple or green, she wouldn't even criticize. one day she climbed the ladder to a place where only she could sit. and there she was alone but not lonely because at the beach she was never really alone.
... a n d as she poured out her thoughts through the neutral black ink (because it wasn't red), she hoped for something more because this couldn't be all. she scratched into her skin and tried to rip it off but couldn't because there was nothing under. she wanted to discover something new or maybe someone new. she refused to accept the present because life is more than sorting books, six hours of class, and a handful of crumbled relationships. she wanted a new life or maybe to sleep the present one away. but since neither was possible, she just pretended she was okay just as she had the past 17 years."
im tired
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
yesterday I went to the police station....today I went to the fire department. Ooo...I just love men in uniforms. lol, just kidding. kinda. Well yeah, I went to donate blood today but they wouldn't let me because I didn't have enough iron in my blood. Apparently you have to have 38% and I had 37% because of a little thing I like to call my (.). Mike Vitar of the Sandlot legacy is a firefighter in L.A. I still think he has the most gorgeous eyes ever, Benny "the jet" Rodriguez.
Sonya, that was a brilliant post. Where is that from?
I think I'm gonna watch Two Towers tomorrow:) Watched the buffy series finale last night, crying...as usual. SPIIIIIIKE!!! Gilmore girls was okay, I got jealous when rory started talking like she was a wedding planner or something. Smallville was okay too, but nothing to spectacular. I really really want to go to the beach.
Sonya, that was a brilliant post. Where is that from?
I think I'm gonna watch Two Towers tomorrow:) Watched the buffy series finale last night, crying...as usual. SPIIIIIIKE!!! Gilmore girls was okay, I got jealous when rory started talking like she was a wedding planner or something. Smallville was okay too, but nothing to spectacular. I really really want to go to the beach.
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
presenting....
sherry's away message: reading on the lifeguard tower...
and
josh's away message: surfing at scripps b back around 4 30ish-5
^this is so unfair.
---
"when she went online she felt sad because she was living in a world of virtual reality.she stared at a screen for hours, typing to a box down the street. and when she laughed she laughed at a screen and when she became annoyed she became annoyed with a screen. and when she stepped back and took a look, it was all so sad that she hated the screen with all of her heart, but in a few minutes came back to it with a soda. at school each screen grew a body but no one spoke because everything had been said at 85 word per minute the night before. so the screen manifestations all stared blankly at each other and rubbed their eyes.and so they lived on but not really lived, their eye sight getting weaker and their hearts even weaker, because it was so easy."
sherry's away message: reading on the lifeguard tower...
and
josh's away message: surfing at scripps b back around 4 30ish-5
^this is so unfair.
---
"when she went online she felt sad because she was living in a world of virtual reality.she stared at a screen for hours, typing to a box down the street. and when she laughed she laughed at a screen and when she became annoyed she became annoyed with a screen. and when she stepped back and took a look, it was all so sad that she hated the screen with all of her heart, but in a few minutes came back to it with a soda. at school each screen grew a body but no one spoke because everything had been said at 85 word per minute the night before. so the screen manifestations all stared blankly at each other and rubbed their eyes.and so they lived on but not really lived, their eye sight getting weaker and their hearts even weaker, because it was so easy."
