blah blah blah

BLAh why has today been such a terribly ANNOYING day? i have just been annoyed ever since i got to LA. and why? i dont know. if i dont know, who does? my moms voice is always in my head. it's true though. do we always know why we feel shitty though? maybe we do but dont want to admit it to ourselves, bring it to consciousness? it was supposed to be a good day.

i feel like everyone has something else. does that make sense? someone else maybe. sometimes i feel like im the one with the somethings and someones, but not today. today i am just something else, someone on the side of everyone else.

why do we (i) want to feel important?
why do we (i) need to feel needed?
its sick and self-absorbed, but so we (i) are (am).

blah blah it's such a routine.... bbboorrringgg. im bored! i want somthing new and exciting to just hAPPEN one day. tomorrow!
ugh im so selfish and unsatisfied. and righteous. and i think everyone else is pretentious. but we're all just the same. and i bet i'm only jealous or something? that's always the answer.

ha ha ha ha haaa

halfway done with my last year of college.
how did that happen? but i am glad to say i am so different now! it's funny how you think you know everything and then you realize you know nothing. then you think you learn everything, but again it is nothing. that's where i am now.

elementary school or high school?
why didn't i choose a REAL major? why didn't I learn anything in college?!

what the heck does the rest of life hold for me?
if i have changed so much in four years, where will i be in four more? i think i know what i want, but do i?

cooooooooooooool.......