i'm feeling very happy. i've loved this quarter. i LOVE my internship and the people i've met through it and am so glad i'll be in it all year. and mentorship too-- so many ups and downs and interesting people. well, one final day, two to go + a take home one.. but i have allll week. and THEN- italy! i am in a very good mood :)

so I'm thinking I'll do a raspberry vanilla trifle just to mix things up a bit--but of course, minus the sauteed meat:)

I have to post this otherwise my laughter will be the death of me. I suppose I should say laughter and embarassment because I feel equal parts ridiculous and humour. And should my laughter escape me, I would cause a ruckus in the otherwise silent library. Anyway, I walked into the computer lab and saw a kid from the club that went conmigo to the norton simon. Now, I honestly thought about just walking straight to a computer (I have a paper to revise) and being my usual anti-social self, but for some reason, a fit of decency overwhelmed me and I chose to stop say 'hello.' Can you say rejection? Well I can, and it sounds something like this:

me: Hi! (v. enthusiastic and damn right smiley, I must say)
him: (on the computer, he looks up & looks at me like I'm a complete stranger. He hesitates) hi.
me: (determined not to let my smile falter, although I know it does) How are you?
him: good... (or some other monosyllabic response. theres still no recognition in his eyes)
me: (finally given up) you dont remember me... (and before he has time to
respond)... we went to pasadena
him: ohhhh right, the museums... and the van...
me: haha right the van...
him: I'm sorry Im so engrossed in translating... so when a stranger comes up to me, I'm a little...(out of it?)
me: hm. what are you working on?
him: plato
me: for what class?
him: 599 its the...
me: who teaches it? (even though I know the answer)
him: Cook..
me: how many people are in that class?
him: 2
me: (smile) oh, well, I was just wondering. anyway, I'll see you later. bye

Really one of my finest moments. and not at all awkward. really. I so didnt even regret trying to be a nice person. but man, trying not to laugh about it, even now, is hard! I did like though, how he was straight faced and somewhat cold until I explained how I knew him...and then his expression was "softened" (I hate saying that) by recognition. I guess what threw me was that he was such a nice guy and to be on the recieving end of aloofness where you expected niceness sorta sucks. Not to mention the fact that it does great things for your self-esteem...not to say that I think I'm entirely a person of substance worth rememberance but whatever, we all hope. this just goes to show that I remember far more than I am remembered. The other thing that I would like to call attention to is that he used the word "stranger." and theres really nothing more I could say about that...

all in all, I think I shall not venture into the land of the hospitable again. my lone island is good enough for me:)

---
for ashley, my tenative schedule:
M: 11-12//7-940
T: 930-1215//2-640
W: 11-12
TH: 930-1215//2-315
I'm still annoyed that they dropped my oceanography class!

"and a hidden love is far more potent than one which
is worn on the sleeve."

:)

this weekend I didn't get much done in the way of schoolwork. I did, however, put up my Christmas tree:D It took up the better part of my saturday because half-way through stringing the lights...they went out. and so down come all the other lights and I had to start all over again. I also got a good part of my shopping done and that translates as me staying away from the malls during the holiday rush, and that is always a very good thing. I am currently thinking about doing the rest of my shopping online just to avoid the frustration of trying to find parking, standing in line, and battling it out with an old lady over the last pair of gloves. shoes. shirts. whatever. so I will pay your shipping fees, Banana Republic! I will make an account with you, Gap, because you have spared me from the chaos of aisles that are too small for people with large strollers.

I had a drug free weekend. And I had to pay for it last night when I had a major attack of my disease. I forgot to pick up my perscription friday night & the pharmacy was closed all weekend... I had to go saturday and sunday without anything. I thought I would be alright because it was only 2 days, but I was soo wrong. And so I wonder now how long I will have to take my drugs...and how does one know if they begin to be dependent upon them? It just depresses me because why why why cant I function normally?