I thought I couldnt like Matthew Macfayden but this and this give me a reason to hope.

June 18th, 2004
"sadaf [jumping on moses' back]: mosseeess!!
moses: ow.
sadaf [falling off]: i didn't spread my legs far enough.
me and michelle: uhhh" --stacy

AND

June 18th, 2003
"i ate way too many gummi bears + M&Ms + tortilla chips + salsa. i really need to stop eating past 10:30pm. this isn't healthy. i also need to stop saying that. ohh crap i have piano tomorrow and i haven't practiced in a million and a half years. it's okay i can sightread and fool my teacher into thinking i practice. finding nemo is such a GREAT movie. it's also one that people see more than once, which is something i noticed. i really like singing in my car...like turning off the radio and just singing...especially at night when no one can see or hear you. ahhh i'm so random....night kiddos." --stacy

apparently I wasnt the only one in mind to post tonight. I wont say much as sonya pretty much covered it (see below) except to add that after desperately seeking old ASB people without success (freaking Moses....MOooSes!) we ran into Trix and Nikki Kalla & her new husband, Robbie. Insane.

After a day of FRIENDS I only want to say:
To honor the Pants. And the Sisterhood. And this moment. And this summer. And the rest of our lives. Together and apart.

p.s. I lover Kostos <3

The First Day of Summer

The first day of summer was a good one. I woke up quite early and talked to katyana over tea. then i fought with sal for a really long time. physical (not verbal) fighting that was much needed. then sal, michelle, and i went grocery shopping in preparation for the ASB reunion potluck. then we cooked for like 4 hours. michelle made a tuna salad (from scratch; turned out delicious) and i made a pasta salad and kahlua brownies. we got stacy, met up with sadaf, and went to the reunion. The reunion ended up being pretty cool actually. I saw many high school people that I hadn't seen for a very long time... all of whom I actually liked (!) It's so strange (but actually not) the way people look, talk, and act exactly the same way that you remember them. I know that only 2 years have passed but it seems like more should have changed. I think our mannerisms get developed pretty early on and just stick to us regardless of what happens in our lives. i think it's always comforting to witness that. it was nice to hear and see that everyone is doing well. also, nicole and i decided we desperately need a DECA reunion. then michelle, sadaf, stacy and i went to edwards to finally see the sisterhood of the traveling pants. only there wasn't a showtime for a realllly long time and the zipper broke on my skirt, exposing my entire thigh. so we got hot chocolate and went to pacific instead and saw the movie there. while it didn't compare to the books, the movie was still very good. i cried a lot, especially at the bailey parts, and i of course felt so jealous watching lena. oh kostos (!) anyway. man i realized how much i needed to see my friends. i always underestimate the power and comfort of seeing them, regardless of what we're doing. cooking, watching a move, just sitting, WHATEVER- it doesn't even matter where we are or what we are doing.

it's going to be a really good summer.

ambivalent is my new favorite word. why? first of all, because i finally know what it means. right around the time that i was cramming SAT words in my head i think i somehow mixed it up with the world 'amiable' and ever since i've thought it meant friendly. now i realize why i was confused every time i read it in an article or book. 'ambivalent' is also a great word because it really doesn't mean anything at all. but the fact that it doesn't mean anything is perfectly fine because it serves a purpose. and actually, it serves a purpose in countless situations. i find myself using the adjective several times a day. so with that prelude to ambivalence, let me say that today i felt quite amibvalent toward leaving UCLA.

i said repeatedly that if i had to stay one more day i would combust into a million miniscule pieces. i was so tired of everything (allow this word to mean whatever you wish). i just needed to get OUT. but as we drove away from the campus i felt sad. spring quarter was definitely my best quarter yet in my 2 years at school. i quit my job; did hands-on psych work; had an amazing experience in mentorship; got to know very cool people better; took classes that i loved. leaving it all behind was kind of sad.

but now that i am home i am not sad at all. i'm just thinking about all of the people here that i love-- all of the constants in my life. 'constant' is a good word as well. my friends are constants, as is my shower, the ocean, and pretty much everything in san diego. and once i get sick of these constants (one of which will be WORK-- im starting next week), i get to go somewhere foreign and exotic and pretty damn scary.

blah blahhh bye

i am going BONKERS

roberto benigni is my hero

i hate nazis and if i could i would kill them

uh oh. today was the first day of summer school. and I'm being super lazy. I hope this isnt a sign of things to come. Maybe its just that I havent done ANYTHING during the last 3 weeks and am just suffering from idleness. Is this feeling what people mean when they say they're burnt out from school? I hope not. I need to get motivated again. Someone hire me. I hope it'll get better...I mean its only the first day so who knows? It could just be that the first chapter of reading was un-fun because it was stuff we covered in humanities. Hm, I'm starting to be concerned about the repetition of information in certain classes. like spanish and history. but we shall see precious.

me: go final its your birthday
me: go final go final
me: GO GO go final
me: fiiiiii-nal fiiiiii-nal
sal: ???
me: final like its hot
me: final like its hot
sal: hahahaahah
me: fi -nal fi-nal
sal: what the heck hahahaahaha
me: my ni**as dont study they just pick up their pens and
me: do the fi nal
me: the fi nal
me: the fi nal
sal: hey you said the n word
me: from the windowwwww to the wallllll
sal: hahahaah
me till the fi nal is all done
me: the final is all done
me: all you really good students
me: the fi nal is all done
me: shake that pen
me: miss sally sally
me: shake that pen
sal: HAHAHAAH
me: miss sally sally
me: all the students gonna study with us
me: in the room with us
me: reading books with us
me: its all good
me: just do the final
me: till the early morn
me: lets study more lets study more
me: till the early morn
me: let me see you 1, 2 write
me: i want to see you 1, 2 write
sal: hahahahah
sal: you're so weird

blah blah i am so sick of studying. ew i ate 3 fruit roll ups, a rice krispy treat, and a package of oreos. (in addition to an ice blended mocha and LUNCH) haha that's what finals does to you. im not even hungry, just restless from sitting here staring at books. so much to study but my brain is resisting. finals are fun tho. i dont have to go to class and i get to just sit here and learn loads of neat information! oh boy! the plan, now that paper is turned in, is to take abnormal psych midterm and final tonight and then go to westwood to get "life is beautiful" ! but first i must earn that break and study for just two more hours. come on BRAIN, you can do it !!

hope you kids are having a loverly time in san diego. it's a beautiful day and you better be enjoying it. i cant wait to come home and see youuu. sooo much to catch up on ah its been way too long my loves! i will be home late late late thursday night!!! xoxoxooxoxoxox im going nuts. too much studying and yet i havent even really started ha ha hahahah aaaa eee hhh aaaa

BYE!