Birmingham police had made a secret agreement with the Ku Klux Klan to give Klansmen fifteen uninterrupted minutes to beat the Freedom Riders. The FBI knew of the arrangement and did nothing to stop it.

hahahaah i just walked up and down my floor and stopped by the bathroom... and my little trip led me to the conclusion that i am the only one, out of 70 residents, that is in her room at midnight, friday. i truly feel unique.

my moms so cute. shes always like "want to go home? i can be there in two hours!"

staying home alone on a friday
flat on the floor looking back
on old love
or lack thereof


yeah yeah yeah you got my onlyyy heart

friday night and its a private party in room 333- just me and john.

and thats the way this wheel keeps working now. that's the way this wheel keeps working now. and i won't be the last. no i won't be the last.

just me, john, and my psychology book. aint life grand. old holden. old sport.

more on the strangeness of me: i never have a desire to talk to anyone. i just want to climb into bed and sleep all day long. but then i get upset if i have no one to talk to. wtf0ktr0sjrmgr i dont make any sense. my room is so freakin dirty. i need to clean it before my roommates complain about me. theres construction going on and someone is banging a hammer and the sound is coinciding with the banging in my head, but the headache medicine should help. i almost feel like going back to campus and reading under the comfort of a tree, but everything i have to read requires notetaking. screw notetaking, it totally takes all of the enjoyment out of reading. i wish i had decided to go home this weekend. oh well, i better make the most of it. complaining is cathartic and it also makes me feel like shit because i know how lucky i am.

dont freak out stace.. we arent supposed to know our majors yet. but at the same time, think hard if u really want to do computer science bc my mom hates it. not that youre like my mom but ... i dont know. i think youre too creative for it ;P but what do i know? -- apparently, i know nothing. i just went to my philosophy discussion and my professor was teaching it for the first time ever. (TAs are on strike). everyone was asking these big important questions that made the prof think and say "very good question" and i felt like a big loser just sitting there in my left-handed desk, wearing my hot pink good kid shirt, my mind completely blank. i wonder why i'm not inquisitive... it's like... i never think or question. i accept everything everyone tells me, memorize it, and regurgitate it for the exam. so i think i have continuously felt like crap for 2 days. i wake up feeling like crap and i go to sleep feeling like crap... especially physically. i think i might have overdone the workout. yesterday i did gymnastics an hour, 1 hr pilates class, and ran a mile.. all basically in a row. i needed to do it do get rid of my shitty mood. but obviously it didnt help? i think there's just too much going on in my mind at once. im always worrying about tons of little things, like how i need to do my laundry but the machine is broken. and on top of all the trivial crap, im always worrying that i am a waste of life and that i am not "living for something greater than myself". and how do you do well in a class where your entire grade is based on two tests? i dont understand this whole college thing. all i know is that i shouldnt stay outside of my room after 11 because that's when all the pathetic drunks stumble home.

I was all excited that we were having a guest speaker--a "filmaker"--come to my theatre class. Everyone fell asleep. It was not fun bc all he was talking about was reality tv shows. I dont like it when big football men sit behind me because they are too big for the chairs and their legs push on the back of my chair. Plus, I feel like they're breathing on me, which ugh creeps me out.

ikea is my new favorite place to go when i need to feel powerful. ordering hot men to do stuff for you is just so awesome! plus, i looove when hot men surprise me :)

oh and that test that i took in philosophy that i thought i did sooo well on...I got an F. 58% and even with the extra credit I can only hope for a D. so thats that.

wrinkles is getting worse which scares me.

michael vartan is SUCH a lover... i can't stand it. but anyway, i went to ikea today (yay!) and got this thing of drawers that i have to return tomorrow. i was deciding between two and realized when i got home that i got the wrong one. my room is a mess because i have to rework everything so it all FITS in my room.

you know whats weird? i woke up this morning--and the sun was gone--and i wanted to watch "youve got mail" and surprise surprise it was on tonight! i only got to watch parts of it though bc i was distracted my michael vartan and his blue eyes.

stuff is weird. life... it is weird. life is so weird. im not drunk... im just sort of stepping back and realizing, for the millionth time, how strangely things like life turn out. i apologize for ever saying that i wanted to go to college on my own, because if my wish had come true i don't know where i'd be now. probably chugging down sunkist and vodka in some dorm room.

so college.

classes: classes are good. i've only been to two, but i've liked what i've seen, what i've heard, and what i've read. i like learning and am grateful that i have the opportunity to learn from people who know what the hell they're talking about. i like reading and taking notes and doing work. this will all change, but for now i am enjoying it.

food: food is good, but i'm sick of it. yes, you can have too much of a good thing. tonight we ate at mr. noodle in westwood for a healthy change, but monday it's bad to the college food. the food is actually very good-- and there is a huge variety-- but i am just so tired of eating. bleeeeeh.

boys: cute boys are abundant and plentiful here. they serve as eye candy as you walk to class or stroll around campus. unfortunately, they aren't very approachable. they're decorated with a blonde or two... or they're too white. or stupid. or or or or. or TAKEN.

campus: is definitely beautiful.

people: are sometimes cool, are sometimes lame... get on your nerves, or surprise you, or make you happy. ask you to eat when you're sitting in your room sadly bc you have no one to eat with. talk about drinking until the wee hours of the morning, or just drink until the wee hours of the morning. they come out after midnight and sleep during the day.

everything else: is strange, and as matt says, also beautiful.

oh, and we won the football game, beating sdsu 20-10.