And Ryan Gosling. That hot man lover needs to be shrunk and bottled for easy carrying convenience. He can serve as a reminder that yes, there is life after MMC and, more importantly, life after justin.
 
Wynkyn, Blynkyn and Nod, one night sailed off in a wooden show, saild on a river of crystal light into a sea of dew...and the wind that sped them all night long ruffled the waves of dew.
   
I don't know if I like this new blog bc it closed the window on my last post without saving after I hit "preview" F@)#%*!!
 
 

oh, and for many many reasons...
 
KERRY-EDWARDS 2004

i haven't written in a while... or returned my missed phone calls. uh-oh the anti socialness is setting in again [insert that ashamed smily face]. my life= work and the beach. but after this week there will be no more work hahaha so my life will = the beach. ive gone to tp 3 days in a row (woohoo), yesterday being the worst bc [a] i had to walk a mile with surfboard in hand [b] i got eaten by seaweed. and work.. work is fine. not boring because there are things to do but just kind of slow. but hey its MONEY, and this is probably the last week for a while... tomorrow is the killer, 830-530, opening to closing. i heart the library because i find books i want to check out. right now i have:

john steinbeck- the red pony
vladimir nobokov- lolita
hemingway- short stories
don de lillo- americana
sandra cisneros- woman hollering creek

i shouldn't even be allowed to say i'm bored. but here's the thing with me and reading. i loooove books and reading but it is so hard for me to start. i really don't know why. i love school because i have to read for it so the starting thing kind of gets eliminated. wow i must have read so much last year. fiction and non fiction. all those course readers... i really enjoyed last year. especially my 60s class and the english class i took for fun. and philosophy which made my head hurt and psych because it was interesting. spanish was almost fun, ling was okay, and i hated comm every single day. but overall, i really enjoyed my classes :-) (a lot more than high school, which was death). why the heck am i talking about this.

why the heck am i online on my only completely free day??? is it just me or has it become really hot ???? last night was my worst sleep in a long time.

MEEP! bye!

grr, I'm so upset. On good days, I actually believe I can become everything that I see in myself. So I can't help but be depressed because I know that it'll never happen.

I AM A WASTE OF SPACE.

At least I'll make some money...

today was such a struggle. actually, today kicked my ass. I'm going to talk about all the things I did today so feel free to skip this post.

I dragged myself out of bed and crawled to my bathroom after sleeping in for 20 minutes. On the way to school I was fairly hungry so I dropped by Golden Bagel to get my usual spinach bagel with garden veggie cream cheese:) But I had to go use the atm in vons bc the one inside golden bagel wasnt working, and of course, I got charged the 1.50 bc my bank really doesnt exist. I'm eating on the way to school and I make this sharp turn so my bagel falls out of my lap and into the place where the emergency parking break thing is. I eat it anyway:)

At school I sit for about an 1.5 hours doing a bunch of nothing while I wait for the rest of my group to finish their part of our project. I do, however, talk to my teacher about dropping the class--and he was nice about it, which only makes me feel worse. I do make a Miss Saigon poster on illustrator and have a conversation about it/musicals in general with my teacher bc he likes Miss Saigon too:) I have to pick up the slack from my group members though, so while they leave I stay and finish up our presentation bc I don't trust them. It's around 2 or something when I finally get out of there and I'm hungry again.

I decide to drive to State bc I have to pay for this GSP test I have to take, and I'm hungry and I don't like the food at mesa. I park in a faraway parking structure bc I don't have a parking permit and must pay by the hour. BUT as I go to the little machine thingy, there's already a ticket sticking out of it. Someone paid for 8 HOURS of parking but didnt take their ticket to put on their dashboard. So I took it:) I realize later that it's the 1st day of second session so they shouldnt be checking parking anyway. I trek up the long way to campus bc I want to drop by and get greek food but I forgot that everything is closed down:( I settle for this nasty sandwich that I don't finish, and I have to sit outside in the heat bc they are using east commons as the bookstore... I watch people come and go, it's quite entertaining. I have to go to the atm again to get money for the GSP and so I get charge 1.50 again. I HAATE surcharges!!!

I wander about the campus a bit after I've paid for my test and I got this super happy feeling. ummmm, hey I'm in my second year of college:) AND I think I FINALLY know what I'm doing AND if everything goes according to plan I'll be upper division soon! So that gave me something to smile about and put an extra bounce in my step.

I drove back to Mesa after writing a report on Orangutans and made it just in time to be BORED OUT OF MY MIND. I promised I'd help this girl study for the next test over the weekend or something. I felt bad bc she really studies and has waay better study habits than I do, but she does bad on tests. I hope she doesnt call me bc I don't want to have to drive. But yess, my teacher lets us out early bc shes caught a cold and her voice is hurting her. So then I drive to PQ to give stacy back her pictures and sonya back her cds. I then go and break into work bc I don't know my schedule for tomorrow and the rest of the week. I felt like I should have been wearing my Zorro costume!!! I was afraid someone would catch me, but then who would do that??

I made it home in time to watch "I love the 90s" on VH1:)

meep i had a dream last night that it was next year and no one liked me. i really hope i get a good floor ! ! please?? i deserve it. ooh the anxiety

ok so i think that: once i figure out
what i want to do with myself
i'll be a pleasent-er person to be around. because i will have a goal and i will have some kind of stability and and and things just aren't fun when you don't know what you're doing. i mean a major and a job and everything. its rather unnerving spending so many months of college being lost. those people who know what they want must feel great.

anyway: today was really fun. i woke up (at 12:30 *ashamed*) to a beautiful bedroom and really clean house and tons of food. went "surfing" (i layed out way longer than i "surfed")- oh torrey pines is sooo beautiful. matt's right, torrey pines > everything else. no one has ever said anything better than that. so yeah yipee!! after that, ate a bunch of leftovers and various cakes with mint leaf and raspberry decorations. will go to the track now and... speed walk.. and then watch big fishy with my sissy sis? okay sounds good.

summer, i heart you

I'm at State right now and it's like a ghost town. I feel like tumbleweed should pass me right about now.

stacy--sorry about sunday, I honestly forgot.

sonya--I'd glad that you are excited about your psych/political sci major!! I hope it all works out, though I think you should also do your art history minor.

ummmm, does anyone want to go with me to the Festival of the Bells at the Mission on Saturday?? Come on please!!

id like to publicly apologize to stacy for being absent minded

signing up for classes is stressful, especially when you have no idea what you want to do. so i've almost completely decided against pursuing communications anymore. i'll probably get in to the major (it's based only on numbers) so i apologize to anyone (from my school) who really wanted to do it and didn't get in. (haha it will be funny to look back on this if i don't get in). after reviewing the projected job outlook and thinking about my interests, i've almost kind of decided to do psychology and political science. thinking about that makes me excited. but i made this "decision" in about an hour and a half so it will probably change again. i might want to specialize in international relations too, just because the world is bigger than america. oh, and it's sad to think that i won't do my art history minor because they never offer any art history classes. it's also sad that i can't take art classes because i'm in the colleges of letters and sciences. and maybe i secretly want to be a design major? anyway. if i do indeed try to do both psych and poli sci i know everyone (matt) will say that bachelors degrees don't matter etc etc but i think that... as long as my parents are paying the money (and busting their butts for it), i might as well try to do as much as i can, even if the degrees are QUOTE useless END QUOTE. okay i just wanted to write all this because i'll probably change my mind in a few months and then i can look back on this and laugh at myself.

I think I'm sorta a quitter. should I "withdraw" from my multimedia class? I feel bad about it bc the teacher is nice. I should just stick it out. Bleh!