If you really want to know, this is all the fun stuff I'd like. you asked and therefore I answered. dont say I didnt warn you...

1. Burberry Tote in blue check-$650
2. Gold and white gold cross-$90
3. Victoria's secret Heavenly perfume-$20
4. Colin Firth
5. Pemberley Shades (American first edition)-$800
6. Classic shirt from Express--$48
7. Mr. Darcy
8. Classic argyle socks (Banana Republic)-$6
9. Burberry copper watch-$425
10. Femman pendant lamp (IKEA)-$70
11. The Princess Bride

^and that is whhy you should just listen to me when I say that it doesnt matter! And should this list scare you away, I completely understand.

serious drama for yo mama at work yesterday had me rushing up to carlsbad to close that store while blowing off sonya and clare in the process. somehow my 8-5 shift turned into 8-930--am I being abused? So now I've been up since 7 doing last minute cleaning before the relatives come...and I'm working everyday up until Christmas Eve, so if I don't see you, please don't hate me and have a Merry Christmas! Now I must find something to eat before I clean and head off to work--yay today I get to do craft time because tomorrow I'll be working at carlsbad again so I cant do storytime. Oh oh!! I totally broke out into this RASH yesterday while working shipment...it was disgusting and I felt diseased. I'm doing shipment again tomorrow and I'm afraid of having another breakout. Maybe I should be quarantined??

and damn it, my spanish professor is so freaking MEAN. I was totally borderline A/B and she totally should have given me the A because hello, she wouldn't write me a recommendation...I think she OWES me that A.

blaaaaah screw shopping. i just want to get such good things for everyone but it is hardly possible :-( first of all, i cannot find things. second of all, and perhaps less importantly, i have already spent 200 $ and i am roughly only 1/3 done. this is the craziest shopping christmas ever. i guess it gets more intense with every year that you get older. but they moneeey the moneeey it's all too much.

GZA: They use nicotine to kill bugs.

Bill Murray: If it kills bugs, that's good, right?

GZA: Are you a bug, Bill Murray?

after a crazy day of work and shopping, i came home to an empty house for the first time in probably over a year. not kidding. and i made myself some pasta with shrimp (wow im so cool) and i watched "coffee and cigarettes" which was surprisingly so very enjoyable! yes, i liked it very much! well i liked most of it. i freaking love Roberto Benigni and most of the other people too.
SERIOUS DELIRIUM!


ummm yeah boy oh boy do i need to read and go places. just cant wait till this nutty christmas stuff is over so i can enjoy a normal break free of shopping malls. all right guess i better sleep so i can go to work in the morn! yay bye

The feeling of rejection sucks. I'm being rejected by my proposed life! A venti mocha frap, a free breadstick, a pair of argyle socks and half a sandwich later, I'm feeling better.

i have this strange, kind of sad feeling. i just went to my aunt's house and saw these people we used to be friends with. i know i've written about them before. they are these american people we met when we didn't know how to speak english yet. they invited us into their home, bought us presents and halloween costumes, drove us around... and as we "rose up" (meaning my parents got real jobs, we left santee, etc) we slowly lost touch with them. that makes me feel like we are really bad people.

they moved to alpine and over the past few years a lot of bad things have happened in their family... the grandpa got alzheimers and he is in the nursing home with one of the husbands, who had a stroke. those kids basically don't have a dad and the mom is going between boyfriends. another kid just kind of does nothing all day and i guess he's getting into pot. and i talked to him today and he was so nice and so.... he just doesn't seem like a bad kid. you know, what you'd think of as a typical "bad kid" who gets crappy grades and does "bad stuff". he's such a good kid it's just... i guess he does what his friends do and he doesn't know of anything else. and they live in this crappy place where there all these rednecks and i guess the kids don't want anyone to know they're jewish. and i was telling him about ucla and i just felt so guilty and bad and horrible. i felt like i was pip and i was being snobby to my secret benefactor, magwitch. i felt like a snobby bitch. and when my mom asked the kid to go snowboarding with us he got so excited and i just felt so so sad. i'm not looking down on him. i just feel so sad that so many bad things have happened to a family of such good natured, warm people.

i feel like i owe a lot to them even though when we knew them i was too young to understand anything. oh my god i hope no one from their family ever finds this because it sounds like a bunch of stupid gossip. i just needed to type it out, i guess.

the cold weather coming in the window smells like a holiday. i am so thankful i have a warm house to be in. i should never complain again. the things i complain about and fuss over are so freaking stupid. oh waa waa person x doesn't like me. who the hell cares. ughh i am so disgusting. i guess it's okay, though. everyone complains. even the luckiest happiest person in the world. but i do really need to tone it down.

k gonna go appreciate the comfort of a real shower minus the shower sandals.