how can i be rejected from my own store?! if anything, they OWE me a job.

my friend Tim is so cool. nice canadian kid. if there were more people like him the world would be funnier.

the Eagles are awesome.

If you put a york peppermint pattie to your ear and break it in half you can hear the ocean

What I had to say one year ago:

i am back from what is apparently called "YO-ss-might".. haha i was calling it that as i was driving home. UM HI i am in gov.. ill probly write more in yearbook? speaking of yearbook, i need mine and i dread signing them. i missed everyone tho except for some people and i am so glad this longlong trip called high school is almost over. i just need to make up some meaningless assignments and then i can go to the beach for the rest of my life.

Another year of my life almost over. Where does the time go? Naps and "term papers" and the long walk down the hall to the girls' bathroom.

And the bee sting on the bottom of my left foot is killing me!

pictures from monday: click

a very attractive FedEx man just came to my door.

how the hell do they make the red berries in special k w/ red berries? the second they touch milk they turn into real fresh strawberries. what a phenomenon

anyway maroon5 make me mad but this cd is quite good as a whole
(its now always rainbows and butterflies its compromise that moves us along)

what a strange, strange life. torn between going home and stay. i think i'll stay although mom is kind of mad at me for not going. oh well, this is my second to last weekend here; i should stay. i'll swim and go to the getty. and finish my papers.
it'll make me appreciate home more, anyway.

tap on my window knock on my door i want to make you feel beautiful

really, a strange strange life. i'm tired. not because i got four hours of sleep but because i am t i r e d. i can't wait to work a boring job for 6.75 and fall into monotony. oh how i miss sweet monotony; it's so comforting.

i can't wait to see you this summer. it will be great. i'm gonna tough out the next two weeks and finish well so i can really deserve summer. BYE! =]

i have the overwhelming urge to read overflowing stacks of biographies.

this time last year I was worrying about graduation and getting archives up on the blog. Mostly, I was freaking out out graduation--it's great to be able to read those posts and see just how insane it all was. And now, I can see that there wasn't a need to be so scared. I think that this year, for me, was all about letting go of everything I ever thought I needed--and starting over.

I need to get a job. I go job hunting more than anyone I know. beggars cant be choosers--I gotta remember that.

ughhhhhhhh the library isn't hiring... in fact, they are laying off more people. i called borders and *surprise surprise* they are only hiring a manager for the music department. DIEEE. i mean, i kind of knew this would happen; i was just hoping for the best (which no one should ever do). SH-T, was really counting on the library.. what should i do? i know.. look for a new job like any other normal person. but where? ugh this is so stressful and finals are quickly approaching... not to mention 4 papers. please help/ kill me :-( All i want is for this year to be over (and a job, please).

i'm getting really tired of this same old thing (you suck); meh!!!OIKw-9AE9J)(EUJ i wish i could use physical force but [keep your hands to yourself]. really need some exercise but will be talking gay marriage instead. opedktgos JSSSHSSH i wish i had an art studio just a tiny room where i could make pill-mosaics and put arrows through fresh human hearts !! rooooooooar

Side note: we better get ready to see tons of people that we thought we'd never have to see again. meh.

that sent a shiver down my spine. and richard would totally be cocky enough to look himself up on google and find our site.

funny thing, the black paper is for my room because i'm working on a new project. i'm doing an ASB remodel. but i use oil pastels on my doors so if i mess up i can just wipe it off :)

I will be productive today. I WILL.

I have many replies:

1. I was going to write the exact same thing. Is the Blockbuster guy that out of it? I think he described it as a cute romantic comedy, or something... but when I think about it, it is a good story.

2. Chance are that Richard will look up his name online and somehow navigate his way over to this site. That won't be a good thing. But I look forward to many more encounters with him and his camelpack. I want one of those :-) Side note: we better get ready to see tons of people that we thought we'd never have to see again. meh.

3. I say buy a colored pack and use the colored pieces for a project for the walls of your room! That would be so pretty. Did you use chalk to decorate your room? It looked nice on your door that one time.

(I don't know why I used correct punctuation.)

Mmmm.. I'm tired and sunburned and my face looks really kind of disgusting. THREE weeks (two plus finals) and I am FREE.
I WILL call the library tomorrow *cross your fingers for me*.

Goodnight frosh kids and friends

So the guy at blockbuster said "He loves me, he loves me not" was a cute movie. Was he watching the same thing? Is he confused with Amelie? It's a crazy, scary, disturbing movie about a girl who LOVES this doctor. Not cute at all.

We went all the way to torrey pines just to see Richard Camacho?

Do they sell packs of construction paper in just one color? Like black?? I doubt it. I don't want to buy like 5 of the different colored packs just so I can pick out all the black sheets of paper.

Happy Birthay Drew!

it smells like one of last year's nights when i'd come home two hours before waking up, right around the time that the birds start chirping. i'd crawl into my bed which was warm and soft and inviting and as i'd fall asleep i would just feel so happy to be alive. and everything was perfect. yes, i annoy me too.

this weekend is being cut short but what a beautiful pair of days... shopping with my mom and sister, spending the entire day at tp (i polka dotted my face with sunscreen and forgot to spread it so it looks like i have some type of nasty rash). letting the waves kill me.. driving back w matt and seeing his best friend MUFASA. and a movie night with sadie and shell... too good to be true, just like it was a year ago.

ucla is great but san diego is where i really belong. i need to pack my things now-- gotta wake up early tomorrow morning and say hi/bye to the beach & friends before heading back to los angeles.

bye lovelies.

yeah last summer was awesome. everyone was really happy--it made me sorta feel like a sad person!

Watched Shrek 2 in San Juan--the movie was good but the journey was odd.

Something that I've been struggling with this past year is just trying to figure out what it is that I want out of life. What do I want, what do I need, what is it that I really believe in and find important...and it's all very frustrating. I never pictured myself a coward--if I thought something could bring me even the remote possibility of happiness then I'd be all for it. And if it didn't turn out the way that I expected, at least there was the experience. I'm not sure I can do that anymore, because here I am--deathly afraid. But I really do think I need to not be comfortable for a while.

On a random note, I really have to give myself a pat on the back for finding my hula man. I was tested on this one. And I still wasn't completely sure I found the right hula man until I FINALLY got the pictures back from hawaii today. and yes, we have a match ladies and gentlemen! Hula man's name is Pu'u Kele btw. I wonder if I should consider becoming a Private investigator so I can stalk people and get paid for it:)

I wish I took more pics in hawaii, it's so pretty there. But something is seriously wrong with me because I guess I don't know what FOCUS means.

I just ransacked archives from last may, june, july and august. i never knew that i was such a happy person... i must have been happy for 4 or 5 months straight. almost every post included something about the ocean and something about how amazing my friends are. and how lucky i am to be living.

that's all true. and it's good to see how much i enjoyed and appreciated everything. i really am lucky. so lucky. hopefully i'll remind myself of it every day this summer =] some really nice posts from a year ago... words rolling off her tounge like autumn leaves stored up for storytelling. meh

i miss things. i miss people. it's strange how people fit so perfectly into your life and then they leave and... it's okay but it's not. you can't really be the you you were before you knew them... so you must recreate a new you. and i wholly believe its possible but it takes a considerable amount of time. and it's SAD, so that makes it harder. it's must easier to want to go back to the way things were rather than to create a new reality.

i look back on the past eighteen years and i've lived enough to be satisfied. that doesn't mean i want to die, but if i did... i mean, it wouldn't be okay of course. but... i've just seen and experienced and felt a lot of good. thank you for being a part of it.


goodnight cuz its 2am and i am freaking tired