Today was nice. I wore funny socks with shoes that you shouldnt wear socks with and capri pants that showed how the socks only went up mid-calf. I thought it was pretty hilarious! CHris is sick. that's all I have to say about that. And I mean, CHris is sickLY. cough cough sick. Anyway,

I got home and did some thinking and more thinking about declaring--got no where and took a nap. The worst part of my day was waking up @ 1 and feeling like I was already wasting my time because I have shit loads of homework. I went to the library in RB--it was my first time there and it was pretty nice there! When I went to check out my books I had my binder on the counter with pics of the FB and I wondered if the girl would recognize sonya. She didnt. Then I worried that...well, maybe I shouldnt mention this but...lets just say I was worried about paying $12 at the library. I read the corridor news and found out that even though MC's football team is doing pretty well, they get no support from the students whatsoever.

I went to work and EWWWW--some girls are just sluts. seriously, its just disgusting and pathetic that some people would go into zany brainy to make out on a bunch of "cuddly friends"....especially on a big $300 pink dog. BASTARDS defiled the stuffed animals!!! Poor precioussess...

But the real perk of my day is that I dont have work tomorrow--which means I have some time to put up my Christmas tree and decorate!! I LIVE for this...and 94.1 started playing nonstop Christmas music. I also got paid today which means I get to buy the Lord of the Rings: The two towers special extended edition tomorrow!! I love having free saturdays :)

unwritten law show was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry to only write when i'm angry or confused or something else not happy... but you know what, let me just say now that as great as ucla is, it isnt all its cracked up to be. yay res halls and roommates and socializing and a beautiful campus, but are these classes really worth my 20 grand a year? what prompts me to say this is the f-ed up class enrollment system. one of my classes is already set for the whole year, so i supposedly get "priority enrollment", since it will be harder for me to choose and arrange my classes with one already being chosen. okay so i spend maybe 6 or so hours figuring out a possibly schedule-- yay priority enrollment sign in-- and BAM- the class i want "has reached its priority enrollment maximum". what the hell is the point of priority enrollment if i cant even enroll. so basically my whole sched is f'ed over and no matter how much i try to not worry about it or "be happy" or stop complaining or bleh, it all comes down to the same thing-- which is that i'm paying just as much as everyone else (and that is already too much, as the people protesting outside my window at this very second can tell you), yet i can't even take ONE class that i want. and just scanning bruinwalk.com-- i am amazed at the number of crappy teachers. these arent just reviews by bitter students.. these teachers are really truly crappy. why the HELL am i paying them? especially when i couldn't take their class if i wanted to.

LISTEN CHILDREN: save your money, go to community !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no time for originality. all you get are my journal's leftovers: what is depressing-- my complete lack of any inspiration desire bleh to write. it must come from my lack of reading... xcept all i do all day is read, only not the stuff that inspires you to write when reading doesn't feel like enough. like music makes you play; art- draw, and etc. so do i like to write or do i just appreciate really good literature? i definitely appreciate good literature and good movies-- but is that as far it goes, or is that something i'd enjoy taking part in? anyway, as i've probably said before... everything is on the everge of okay until i step back and look at the bigger picture. its like a reverse monet- an anti impressionistic blehh of paints where the bigger picture is sensless. i knowits easier to focus when you have a goal in mind, and as of now i have no such goal. i am just an entity of matter floating about without a compass or any natural sense of direction and everyon around me seems to actually be moving towards something. i only move away from something- everything- and running away to nowhere gets you precisely there- nowhere. so that is where i am, or am not, rather, because if you are nowhere you really arent anywhere identifiable. if you wanted to look for me, for example, you couldnt find me. and its really difficult to plan classes when you dont know what city, country, state of mind you are presently in, or wouldn't mind moving to. maybe i want to be in europe- what class do i take for that? anyway, here's the simplest question of all questions: what do i enjoy? refrased: what interestes me, what do i like? this is where i say nothing. and what doesn't interest me? everything. okay i am just sounding like a stubborn little kid... there really are things that i enjoy but none of them fit together. so that's probably what i should do. major in everything and nothing so i can be an everythingist and a nothingatician, all at the same time.

hmm hmm what to say now that I've got some time...

school is kicking my ass. I'm stressing because I'm feeling pressure to declare in order to take the classes I want. Only thing is, the major I want to declare is "not accepting new students." What the hell is that?! And if I even want to get into that college, I have to talk to the department head--not only is that scary in itself, but hes gonna wanna know WHY he should let me in!! Well, lets see mr. department head--I have a HUNCH this is what I want to do, but I'm not quite sure yet...and even though this is impacted, I still think it would be worth your time and especially mine, if you let me in. See how this is just NOT working?

Over the weekend I treated myself and bought the SILMARILLION...its a "companion piece to Lord of the Rings." It's so exciting!! I am amazed. I'm not thinking about how I wont be able to get work off to go to LA and look upon the flesh of Orlando Bloom with my own eyes. If that happens I'm just gonna turn in my two weeks now and be done with it all.

It's getting cold. and my ears are suffering.