i'm sorry i haven't written in so long. i've also been quite a poor friend to many people in terms of keeping in touch and things of the sort. but i promise you are never out of my thoughts. i don't blame you if you don't believe me. i don't believe in words either. (but still, it's true).

i guess things have been stressful. i try to do something de-stressing every day... read a little of "the little prince" (in french!), just sit and watch people, turn off all of the lights in my room except for the pretty little lanterns. but i think that most of the time i'm worrying about things. grades, activities, people.

in terms of grades, i've been doing pretty poorly and blaming everyone but myself for it. abnormal psych- i love the class; i read every word of the book; i'm fascinated; i studied intensely for the midterm. and still.. failure. i blame it on the writing of the multiple choice, but only because i just can't see what i should be doing differently. then art history... i get my paper back and apparently i'm "missing a thesis". how could i be missing a thesis?!?! i've written hundreds of papers, most of them far longer and more important than this one. i guess that was more a blow to my ego than anything else. i just hate all this because it means i need to change what i'm doing, work harder, go to office hoursssss death.

activities are always stressful, no matter how fun or interesting they are. i just found out my mentee can't go to six flags next weekend and i'm pretty bummed about that. the abnormal psych clinic thing is also always on my mind. i guess i'm feeling rather unsure about myself. but it will get better with time (haha i haven't even started yet). this girl May and I went on thur to see it.. it was interesting talking to her because she's very different than me and everyone else i know. every since then i've felt kind of out of it.. i dont know; it was a strange, strange week. so i'll wrote more about the clinic later.. for now it's just there in my mind causing all this anxiety and worry. it shouldnt be that way because i want to do this.

my last day of work was tuesday. the week has been a blur since then but i have gotten a lot of (non-academic) things done. on wed- my first day off of work- i went to the library (my work haha) and got some books in spanish and Le Petit Prince in french. today i made the 30 min walk to the federal building for an expedided passport. ended up waiting 2 hours even tho i had an appointment. it was nice, though, seeing all of the people who were getting passports. i liked watching them and thinking about how they were all going to visit countries, family, etc. any reminder that the world is bigger than the united states is great. walked back, got baja fresh, 2 baguettes, a half dozen cookies.

then came back to campus and sat out nsync-style, 4 hours early for Spring Sing. it was a very good show.. lots and lots of talent. i'm so jealous of talented people. especially people who do intense routines with a jumprope. MAN!!!!! yeah, it was a great show. quite entertaining; wish i was a part of it. oh yeah and celebrity judges... winnie from wonder years, fat red headed kid from SANDLOT (michelle!), andrew keegan haha, girl from napoleon dynamite, jason alexander...


the little prince sits on a chair on his little planet and watches the sunset. when it's over, he moves his chair a little and watches it again, and again and again and again.

my family is coming on Sunday and there couldn't be a better time. i really need to see them. tomorrow, though, is all about homework. time to catch up on everything i didnt want to read after i bombed my midterm. getting caught up will feel good.

laaaaaaaaaaa time to read and sleep. man i am a boring machine. hopefully ill return soon with something mildly exciting to share haha

I have this ringing in my ear because some genius girl (on her cell phone) decided to walk through a door that was clearly marked saying that it would set off an alarm if opened. she tried to exit the building through the door even though everyone knows that they aren't exits.

I also completely missed my 1st class today because I was stuck in traffic. I got to school and parked about the time that it ended. I also didnt have an umbrella (mine got stolen in spain) and the spare I keep in my car was somehow missing. I think the weather is so deceitful because you think its like april--almost may--so who still needs to carry around an umbrella?? so as I crossed the parking lots, im not kidding, it was like a damn hurricane and all i could do was longingly stare at the dry people with their bright umbrellas, wishing for someone to save me. so drenched like a wild beast, i slopped into the bookstore and spent 10 bucks on an umbrella, only to find that the rain has let up in the 2 minutes I was in the bookstore.

currently, my left foot is completely soaked while my right foot is dry. i dont get it.

anyway, I had to drop by my poli sci ta's office because I missed my class and thus, the presentation on this paper that I was scheduled to give today. Kinda nervous because my last visit to his office wasnt a good experience, and that other girl ta just happened to be there too--my favorite person, in case you didnt know. The dialogue followed something like this:

him: HI!
me: hi. so I didnt make it to class today...
him: uh huh...
me: but I was supposed to present my paper...
him: uh huh... (the kind where he's completely aware of both my absence and my lack of
presentation but just wants to see where im going)
me: so I was just wondering, what happens now?
---meanwhile ta girl is just looking back and forth between the both of us, me looking like a drenched beast and trying to ignore her existence---
him: well what happens now is that I put all your names in a hat... (at my stricken look)... Im just kidding. (relief!) Im just giving you the benefit of doubt, you'll get an A.
me: okay... (confuse me?!)
him: youve gotten an A on everything else so far so Im going to assume that it would have been an A presentation... (actually, I havent gotten an A on everything but who wants to argue with a statement like that?)
me: you dont want me to present it now or do it later?
him: no its for the benefit of the class not for me.
me: oh. okay. have a good day...
him: you too.
me: dazed and confused but happy! although I dont know if I said THANK YOU.

9:54 and I have a paper due at 11. Sorta stressed but at the same time, delightfully elated:) why dont french people lover me? Im going to quit my job today. IM TIRED.

Yesterday was FUN! Matt came and we spent the day at the LA Times Festival of Books where, contrary to predictions of various weathermen, it did NOT rain. We saw Ray Bradbury, went to a pretty interesting panel on Writing History and saw another group of really interesting translators talk at "Found in Translation". all of it was quite interesting and inspirational. really encourages me to go and get those french and spanish books that i've been meaning to read... oh and russian too.

Speaking of russian, i'm kind of screwed bc my passport expired.. i had an interesting experience friday night getting my passport pics taken at a local kinkos by a guy who wants to go to peru to visit his ex gf who excavates rocks for a living. now i need to go to the federal building a get a new passport so i can get a visa so i can buy a ticket.

back to yesterday, though. after the long day at the bookfair we came back and bummed around.. monica joined us, smuggled food from brucaf, went to westwood and ended up at rite aid the way we ALWAYS do with guests. 4 candy bars for a dollar! cheap obesity ! we tried out jose bernsteins, think we just got bad luck... but the stroll in the light rain was great. anyway i had a lot of fun

so back to friday. after work i jumped on the 761 RIGHT in time and went to the getty for the David exhibit which was AWESOME. spent a few hours just in that one exhibit, trailing behind a large group of rich white people. got back on the bus around 830 and found myself sitting next to 3 girls, all of whom i knew from different places. what a large small world this is. we all got off in westwood and i went and took those pics, got some didi reese, and then threw ice with karen and some friends from her floor who were a lot of fun. then we "watched" american history x but it was really just sitll frames with sound. although that didn't keep me from crying at the end which is too much to take no matter what the circumstances

it's spooky outside right now and the day will be filled with psychology, which isn't so bad because i do enjoy it. midterms monday and wednesday though. and i think various abnormal psychology/clinic project things will be happening this week so that's an extra anxiety on my mind BUT my last day of work is tuesday so that's something to celebrate.

i'm sure this week will fly by just a little bit faster than last week, since that's what's pretty much been happening every week since i first realized i was alive and formed a conception of time. well, all the more reason to do more things and have fun.