on this day last year michelle and stacy got job interviews at zany brainy within 45 minutes of applying.

trying to get someone to employ you has got to be one of the most tiring, stressful, annoying processes ever. you look at the employees at the store you're applying at and want to shake the manager and scream: why can they work here and i can't?!!? I may not have pushed a k-mart cart around or stuffed taco shells with lettuce but i am definitely not stupid and i can definitely learn how to use a cash register and i can catch on fast and i can be a people-person and i can sell things and fold things and if you do not hire me you are stupid. i want to write that on my applications. no really.. job hunting.. nothing makes you feel more worthless and disgusted and frustrated.

if anyone sees a HELP WANTED sign, please let me know. otherwise i will have to prostitute myself (i am considering this).

Anxiey numero dos-- statistics final. so as you probably don't know because i don't like to talk to people, i didn't take my stats final on friday. my teacher went out of town, the tests were "taken", my t.a. tried to slap together an alternate test, there was a rebellion, we didn't take the final, my stats teacher said we must take it monday or wednesday or first week or finals week... people once again revolted.. and the final decision: we can choose to have our homework and midterm grades averaged. yayhoo!!!! so, minus the anxiety, i actually banked on this big stupid mess and got to get away with an A (uhh.. i hope) without taking a final. i will forever remember this strange situation as the climactic ending to my crazy first year at ooklah.

meepmeep.. summer.. what have i done so far? not unpacked. not laundry. not cleaned my room. (not found a job). i have: gone on a run at TP, eaten 10 pounds of candy and bread (and nothing else), seen The Terminal, gone to champagne bakery in del mar, run into jo's friends at B&N, wasted many hours in the cement wasteland that is mira mesa (or as doug appropriately calls it, misery mesa). and i went to ikea and bought a frame for some ink prints i want to do.

so instead of feeling worthless (because i'm fat and unemployed and i'm sitting on the couch wearing a wife beater and guzzling coors lite and theres crumbs smeared all over my beer belly) i'll finish unpacking, feed the laundry machine, limpiar mi cuarto, and get to those ink prints!!

HAPPY SUMMER

i'm sitting on my bed in my bedroom. the window is open and the lightestttt breeze is coming through the screen and it smells SO MUCH like home and i just want to inhale it forever. everything i see and hear and smell and taste is so comfortable and i keep walking around feeling strange. i keep seeing different scenes that happened in the rooms of this house as if it were a movie set. i kind of feel like i want to take the front yard and the backyard and my bedroom and the smell of san diego and just suck it all up into my body. i know that doesnt make sense... and im not trying to write well or anything (haha obviously). i just feel so strange and happy and the air smells so sweet. i feel so at peace, i guess. and the last two nights i have slept better than i did all year. such a deep warm comfortable sleep. not that i didnt love ucla, because i really did. but this is home.