mark darcy, why can't you be real?

was trying to study, have gone crazy. 'am lunatic'

sour patch. honey bbq fritos. peanut m&ms.

heads on the verge of exploding except wait, i havent even started. go in my head go in my head- why cant i concentrate. such bad, bad timing. bit all my nails off. did my hair. maybe 20 times or 25. gone upstairs downstairs sideways longways didn't help at all. nothing helps. just meaningless words worth hundreds of dollars... have to do well, but cant think. cant think. can think. can think only about. one thing. and time slips by. through my fingers like water i want to be at the beach. i want the ocean to swallow me. i want the waves to beat me. just swallow me whole and nothing will matter.

it's okay, i just have to study now. i will ace this. this meaning all of it.

yeah, um definitely am lunatic. right.

for what its worth, im here
oh wait, im not

TA DAA!

now you can do what you want to whenever you want to/ do what you want to whenever you want to/ do what you want to whenever you want to/ though it doesn't mean a thing, big nothing

it's a chemical embrace that kicks you in the head/ to a pure synthetic sympathy that infuriates you totally

it's always been wait and see/ a happy day and then you pay/ and feel like shit the morning after/ but now I feel changed around and instead of falling down/ I'm standing up the morning after

it's a picture perfect evening and i'm staring down the sun / fully loaded deaf and dumb and done / waiting for sedation to disconnect my head or any situation where i'm better off than dead

And I was bad news for you just because/ I never meant to hurt you


---elliot smith

grade inflation?


one down, two to go.

JUST HAD TO GET THAT OUT OF MY SYSTEM.

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stacy, i'll be back thursday night (not today but next thur)-- when are you going BACK to stanford?

ATTENTION!!!

on monday at 4am a girl on my floor was taking a shower... she opened the curtain and saw a caucasian guy (our age) with his head under the door, smiling up at her. she didn't recognize him; he wasn't caught.

LOCK YOUR DOORS. DON'T SHOWER LATE AT NIGHT. TRY TO GO TO THE BATHROOM IN PAIRS. REPORT SUSPICIOUS PERSONS/ACTIVITY.

it's disgusting how easy it is for someone to get into our bathrooms... or even into our bedrooms. just be really careful. and tell your friends.

my days are filled with meaningless things. nothing helps.

hello, i am a waste of space.

if one more south campus freak tells me my north campus work is easy i will bomb the M.S. building and all surrounding areas
--i maintain that the jobs of biologists and philosophers are not to be compared in terms of difficulty

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, mucho estress

lifetime goals [from my list] that i have accomplished:
buy mom a good birthday present, write/get letters, surf in hawaii, go to museum alone, vote


HI ARE YOU THERE STILL or have you forgotten??

this is really hard. i need a patch.

hey wow i feel so fresh and so clean clean. its okay, it will probably all be okay. everything seems to be extra green and extra blue today.

the weekend

and only when i was half-way home did i realize that i had forgotten to turn the lights on. everything was dark. and everything is dark.

You think you deserve it just because you want it? It doesn't work that way. You have to earn it, take it, make it yours... so why don't you tell me what it is that you truly want?